


Oh the Weather Outside is Frightful

by YolandaWinston



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: F/M, Snowball Fight, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2013-12-28
Packaged: 2018-01-06 12:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1107020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YolandaWinston/pseuds/YolandaWinston
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leslie takes Pawnee's annual snowball fight very seriously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh the Weather Outside is Frightful

**Author's Note:**

> Migrating from LJ. Originally written as a 2012 Secret Li'l Sebastian present for bowlsohard, who prompted anything to do with Christmas or snow. 
> 
> Set around the mysterious Season 3 Christmas, after Soulmates, assuming I can bend that winter's timeline to my will. Comments are the best Christmas presents.

The room was silent and shadowy, illuminated only by the moonlight filtering through the curtain and the bedside clock glowing 03:12. Ben squeezed his eyes shut in protest, desperate to cling to the last vestiges of sleep. He wasn’t sure if he was more frustrated that he’d woken at such a ridiculous hour, or that he’d been dragged out of a dream where Leslie was giving a budget presentation in a Santa hat and little else.

A dull thud echoed through the room, and Ben’s eyes shot open again. This must have been the same noise that had woken him a minute ago. It seemed to have come from behind the curtain – where now, he noticed, the silhouette of a person was faintly distinguishable.

Ben leapt out of bed, heart hammering, and pulled aside the curtain to see...

...his window smeared with snow, and Leslie grinning and tossing a snowball from hand to hand.

His heart still hammering, now for an entirely different reason, Ben opened the window and squinted out at her. Though still confused and sleepy, he couldn’t help but smile – he’d take real Leslie over dream Leslie any day, even if she was wearing way more clothes and throwing snowballs at his window in the middle of the night. Which... yeah, he should probably find out why she was doing that.

“Hi Leslie. What are you doing?”

“It’s the first snow of the winter, Ben!” she exclaimed, bouncing on her toes, still juggling the snowball. Of course she was just as energetic as ever at 3am. He wondered what she’d do with all that nocturnal energy if they were allowed to date, if rather than bouncing outside his window she was in his bedroom, in his bed.. _no, Ben, focus!_

“Yeah, I know. It started snowing just before I went to bed.” Ben winced and made a mental note not to say the word ‘bed’ again, in case Leslie could somehow read his mind.

“Well, as of ten minutes ago, there’s been enough snow on the ground to form decent snowballs. And you know what that means!”

Ben raised his eyebrows. “No. I really don’t.”

“Ugh, I keep forgetting that you’re still kind of new here. Okay. It means it’s time for the annual Pawnee First Snow Town-wide Winner Takes All Extreme Snowball Fight!”

“...Now? It’s the middle of the night! Everyone’s sleeping! Or should be,” he added pointedly.

Leslie stomped her foot. “Ben, the rulebook clearly state that the first snowball can be thrown as soon as there is adequate snow cover on the ground to form a ball 4 inches in diameter. That’s now. Some of those other losers won’t start until morning, but we can get a head start, take at least three blocks before most people wake up.”

Ben’s mind was reeling. “Take... there’s a rulebook?”

Leslie was clearly getting exasperated. “Come on Ben, this is a great Pawnee tradition! It even predates the formation of Eagleton. Those jerks hated this snowball fight so much that when they left to form their stupid town they started a new tradition. Tomorrow in Eagleton, everyone will be carefully handing each other delicately carved ice swans.”

Ben wrinkled his nose. “That sounds awful.”

“Exactly! Whereas the snowball fight is awesome. So put some pants on and let’s do this.”

Leslie’s eyes raked over him less than subtly and Ben flushed, thankful he’d been sleeping in his usual plaid boxers and not the ones covered in frolicking reindeer his mom had sent him. He took a moment to weigh up his options. On the one hand, it was warm in his room, and he could really use another few hours of sleep. On the other hand, Leslie was outside with pink cheeks and snow in her hair, and she’d chosen him as an ally in this insane endeavour.

“Hang on, I’ll get my coat. And pants.”

***

“Are you sure about this?”

They were crouched together below April and Andy’s window, peeking over the sill into the dark room. Ben could just make out the outlines of two bodies curled together on the bed.

“Super sure. Do you have your ammunition ready?”

Ben gestured to the pile of snowballs at his feet. “Yes... but as their roommate I should warn you, there’s a good chance one or both of them will be naked.”

Leslie quietly cackled. “Even better.” Then she began inching the window open.

They both held their breaths as the hinges squeaked, but moments later the window was wide open and the bodies in the room hadn’t stirred.

“On three,” Leslie whispered into Ben’s ear. “One, two...” Her breath was hot on his cold face, and he almost missed his cue. “THREE!”

In unison they hurled their snowballs through the window, watching with bated breath as they hit their sleeping targets. “Good aim,” Leslie complimented Ben, as a high-pitched shriek came from inside, followed by a manly roar. Andy catapulted out of bed, looking around wildly for the source of his rude awakening. In a moment he had spotted them – but to Ben’s surprise, he looked more excited than angry. Less to Ben’s surprise, he was completely naked.

“Pawnee First Snow Town-wide Winner Takes All Extreme Snowball Fight!” shouted naked Andy. “Babe, get dressed, it’s on!”

“You’re going down, Dwyer!” yelled Leslie.

“That’s Burt Macklin, FBI to you!” cried April, clutching a pillow to her chest. “I’m Janet Snakehole, and I will invoke my ice demons to destroy the both of you!”

Leslie grabbed Ben’s arm. “Quick, we can get a head start while they’re getting dressed.”

Shaking his head and marvelling that about five minutes ago he’d been blissfully asleep, Ben allowed himself to be dragged through the gently falling snow. Leslie was running through the yard in a half-crouch, her beanie pulled low and a look of intense concentration on her face. She was equal parts adorable and terrifying.

“What now?” Ben asked, all his attention focused on where Leslie’s small hand gripped his forearm. Just then, she darted to the left, ducking behind a large tree with a sharp tug on Ben’s arm that almost sent him sprawling on top of her.

His head spinning, Ben caught his balance against the tree trunk and slumped down onto the snowy ground. “Leslie! What was that?”

“Shh! Did anyone see you?” Leslie asked, her eyes wide and anxious.

“What are you talking about? Who could have seen me? No one else is awake!”

“Except April and Andy,” Leslie pointed out.

“Yes, but I don’t know if you noticed... they were butt naked. I think they’ll need a few more minutes before they start-“

“KAMIKAZEEEEE!” A shout pierced the still air, and a haphazardly dressed Andy went sprinting straight past them and down the street, wielding an armful of loose snow and a marshmallow shooter. Leslie and Ben watched him go with interest.

“How long until you think he realises we didn’t go that way?”

“I think we’ve got at least ten minutes,” mused Leslie. “Which gives us time to deal with April.”

They peeked out from either side of the tree, both focused on the open window and gently billowing curtains of April and Andy’s room. “Look – the footprints,” whispered Leslie. Sure enough, two sets of prints could be seen scurrying from the window to the tree where they were hidden. Another set of larger prints bounded straight out to the street. And there was a fourth set of prints, made by small boots which had taken even, purposeful steps in the other direction.

Ben gulped. The thought of April stalking him and Leslie through the dark snowy streets sent a chill down his spine that was entirely unrelated to the frosty air. Knowing that she could only be armed with compacted snow did little to quell his nerves.  A glance at Leslie’s face told him she was thinking along the same lines.

“Should we relocate?” Ben asked hesitantly. “If we noticed her footprints, you know she saw ours.”

“No,” said Leslie firmly, though she looked somewhat unsure. “Let’s stay put for a minute more. We have good cover, and going out in the open can only hurt us. And with two of us we can keep a good lookout.”

“Aye aye, captain,” Ben said with a gentle smile. Leslie gave him a small, tight smile in return, her nervous eyes briefly meeting his before continuing to flit around the yard. Despite the fairly bizarre circumstances, it wasn’t until that moment that Ben realised just how important winning the snowball fight was to Leslie.

Ben reached for her hand, lacing his gloved fingers with hers and giving them a comforting squeeze. After a moment he went to let go, but found that Leslie was gripping him back just as hard. Well, he wasn’t about to fight it. At least he got to hold Leslie’s hand before they were both murdered by April.

While he was gazing at their entwined fingers in quiet wonder, Leslie was peering out around the tree again. “Still no sign of her,” she murmured.

“Huh... can you see where her footprints lead?”

“Not really. They seem to go towards that tree over there. I can’t really see beyond that.”

At that moment, there was a barely audible rustle in the branches over their heads – which would have been all very well if the tree wasn’t completely bare of leaves.

“Leslie”, Ben breathed into her ear, as quietly as possible. “What if her footprints don’t go beyond that tree because she climbed it? And what if she then climbed from tree to tree until she was perched right over our heads, ready to strike?”

Leslie’s eyes widened so much that it would have been comical if Ben wasn’t certain his were doing the same. Both instinctively avoiding any sudden movements, their eyes slowly travelled upwards to search the dark branches. There, a dark shape against the silvery sky, crouched April. And in her right hand was one perfectly formed snowball.

“RUN!” Leslie and Ben screamed in unison. April’s snowball clipped Ben as they fled, and her shrieks of, “BABE, come back, I got ‘em!” set some of the local cats yowling.

Leslie quickly reached the other side of the yard, Ben in tow, and beckoned him behind the neighbour’s fence where they both gasped for breath.

“Wow, that was close. Good thing she couldn’t carry much ammunition up there,” Ben panted, turning his back to Leslie as he surveyed their new territory. “I guess we should start stocking up on snowballs for the next attack.”

Leslie’s horrified gasp interrupted his strategising. “Oh my god, Ben! You’ve been hit!”

Before he could ask her to explain herself, Leslie had started brushing the residue from April’s snowball off the point of impact. Which happened to be Ben’s butt.

The passes of her hand had become less brusque and more lingering before Ben thought to interrupt her. “Um, Leslie?” He looked over his shoulder and noticed her cheeks were even pinker than before.

“Oh, uhh, you’re good. I mean, you’re fine. I mean – snowballs! Right. Yes.”

The next few minutes were spent making snowballs in charged silence. As their pile of ammunition grew, Ben couldn’t resist sneaking peeks at Leslie’s still-blushing face. Evidently she was having the same problem; they kept catching each other out, and quickly looking away with smiles they tried and failed to suppress.

Mercifully for Ben, who was sure that one more second of accidental eye contact would have him ravaging Leslie on a bed of snowballs, she pulled out her phone and started flipping through her messages. “Ann doesn’t want to join the fight until morning,” she said, disappointed. “And no one else responded to my messages. Jerry even hung up on me when I called and told him to come down here. God, he’s so rude.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m glad you’re here. We make a pretty great team, I think,” she said, tucking away her phone without another glance.

Ben was positively glowing in response when the distant crunching of snow caught his attention.

“Did you hear that?” he whispered, turning to face Leslie and finding her with an eye pressed to a hole in the fence.

“It’s them. Are you ready?”

Ben felt a swell of emotion momentarily engulf him – something resembling patriotism for the town and its weird traditions, combined with overwhelming affection for the woman next to him. “Hell yes I’m ready. Let’s finish this.”

He was rewarded with a blinding smile that sent him a little weak in the knees.

The thud of a snowball hitting the other side of a fence and a muffled curse word prompted them to spring into action. They both scooped up armfuls of snowballs and began pelting them over the fence, towards where April and Andy were semi-hidden in a crudely built snow fort.

Snowballs flew back and forth through the cold night air, punctuated by loud taunting and the odd burst of profanity when an icy missile hit its mark. The fence was providing adequate shelter, but April and Andy seemed to have an infinite supply of snowballs. Meanwhile, Leslie and Ben’s pile was rapidly dwindling, and the ground around them had already been thoroughly divested of snow.

Ben was becoming concerned. “Where do we go from here?”

Leslie bit her lip and slowly nodded. “There’s only one thing to do. I have to go out there.”

“Leslie, no!”

“It’s the only way. Do you trust me?” Her eyes were clear, her gaze unwavering.

“Yes, of course I do.”

That earned Ben another smile. “Good. Here’s what we’ve got to do.”

Leslie outlined her plan, and Ben nodded grimly. “Fine. But on one condition – you have to let me help.”

***

A lull had fallen on the battleground – no snowballs had been thrown for at least two minutes. Ben knew if he and Leslie were fine-tuning their strategy, no doubt April and Andy were too. He needed to move, and quickly.

Ben took a deep breath, stepped out from the edge of the fence, and started sprinting.

In an instant he was under fire, snowballs glancing off him as he ran or landing in his wake. They could hit him in the face for all Ben cared, as long as it enabled Leslie to pull off her master plan. He kept running, circling the fort from a distance and drawing the line of fire away from Leslie. He heard Andy, or rather Burt Macklin, shouting at him.

“Think you’re pretty tough, do you? Well you don’t stand a chance against us, you reckless snow cowboy!”

Adrenaline coursing through his veins, Ben gave a breathless laugh, and yelled right back. “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfuckers!”

Andy’s giggling still in his ears, a snowball to the gut sent Ben reeling. He doubled over and took a moment to regain his breath as snowballs continued to pummel him. But he couldn’t help but smile – for using his distraction as cover, Leslie had crept out of hiding and was only a foot away from the snow fort. And scooping up as much snow as she could carry, she leapt that final foot and dumped it all on April and Andy’s heads.

Amidst all the squealing and cackling, Ben reasoned it was safe to approach the enemy. April was trying to shake the snow out from under her shirt, while Andy had merrily flopped backward and was making snow angels in the ruins of his fort.

“So... did we win?” Ben asked, raising an eyebrow at Leslie, who beamed and nodded.

“Yeah, you won,” said April as she brushed snow from her hair. “Good game as always, Leslie. Ben, you didn’t suck as much as you normally do. Congratulations. We’re gonna go inside and warm up now.”

“Sex!” cried Andy joyfully, bounding to his feet and instantly wrecking his snow angel. “She means we’re gonna do it. Awesome. Later guys!”

Moments later, they had climbed back in their window and slammed it shut, and Leslie and Ben were left alone. The snow had picked up again, and fat flakes were drifting onto their shoulders, alighting on Leslie’s curls and making them appear even paler than usual.

“Now what? Did you say you wanted to take the whole block?” Ben dreaded the thought of what that would involve. With the initial excitement over, he was growing wearier by the second.

“I don’t think so. I feel a little bad about waking up strangers.”

“Oh, but not co-workers?”

“Not friends,” Leslie said with a smile. Ben kicked at the snow, chuffed. Figuring out where he stood with her had been a daily rollercoaster ride, and it was undeniably nice to hear her affirm their friendship - as much as he’d like it to be much, much more.

And then a snowball hit him square in the chest.

Ben looked up, astonished, to see Leslie grinning sheepishly. “Sorry friend. I forgot to mention, there can only be one winner. Rules are rules.”

“Oh, really?”

“Really.”

“Alright then.” Ben lunged for her, and Leslie turned and ran, shrieking with laughter. She was fast, but her legs were shorter than his, and she was struggling through the increasingly deep snow. It was only a matter of moments before Ben had caught up and tackled her onto an expanse of untouched snow. They landed in an awkward heap, Leslie still giggling, and Ben checked she was reasonably comfortable before pinning her wrists and grinning down at her.

“Ha! You’re mine, Knope!”

“Yeah,” Leslie murmured, her giggles dying away but the smile not leaving her reddened lips.

Ben felt like there must be hundreds of butterflies, or at least several baby dragons, soaring in his belly.

Leslie’s eyes were warm and bright, her nose and cheeks were pink from the cold, and there was snow in her hair and on her eyelashes. She was the most breathtaking sight he’d ever seen. His eyes flickered involuntarily down to her lips, and his heart leapt when he saw her do the same.

He knew there was a rule against them dating.

But he also knew sometimes you just have to say ‘screw it’.

Ben dipped his head and kissed Leslie, exactly how he’d wanted to kiss her for weeks, no, months. He pressed his mouth against hers, softly but urgently, and thrilled when he felt her respond immediately, opening her mouth eagerly beneath his. Her lips were cold but her mouth was hot, as was her tongue when it traced along his lower lip, and it was an intoxicating combination.

He kissed her for every time he’d wanted to but couldn’t and for everything he’d wanted to say but hadn’t dared. He kissed her to tell her how she amazed him every day, to thank her for everything she’d done for him, to show her how desperately he wanted her. The kiss was deep and devastating and went on and on, and Ben would have likely forgotten to breathe if Leslie hadn’t broken away, gasping against his mouth. Undeterred, he moved to her neck, planting hot kisses on her cold pale skin.

Ben realised he still had Leslie’s hands pinned over her head. He let them go, and she immediately wound her arms around his neck and threaded her fingers through his hair, before bringing one hand down to grab his butt. He laughed against her neck, and felt her chuckle reverberate against his lips. He kissed down to the collar of her snow jacket, then unable to resist the lure of her lips, he kissed his way along her jaw and reclaimed her mouth.

Ben’s right hand was supporting his weight against the snowy ground, but he quickly realised that touching Leslie would be an infinitely better option. Divesting himself of his glove, Ben cupped Leslie’s face and tangled his icy fingers in her hair, allowing himself to settle onto her more. They both moaned when this brought their hips closer together, and Leslie hooked a leg around Ben, pulling him closer still. Ben took his hand from her face and traced a path lower, caressing her neck before sliding lower and cupping her breast.  At that moment, a solitary thought intruded through the foggy landscape of Ben’s mind – he was feeling Leslie up through a snow jacket.

Ben exhaled a laugh again Leslie’s mouth, and pulled back. His eyes raked over her flushed face, her dazed eyes as they fluttered open, the rapid rise and fall of her chest. If it wasn’t for the snow that had infiltrated his boots and was soaking his socks, he’d be sure this was all a blissful dream.

“Why’d you stop?” Leslie breathed, the hint of a frown appearing on her face. He softly kissed it away.

“Are you cold?”

“Oh – I guess so. I was kind of distracted.”

Ben chuckled, and then grew serious for a moment. “I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but do you want to come inside? It’ll be a hell of a lot warmer than making out in the snow. And maybe we could lose the jackets,” he added with a rakish grin.

“Oh, you can count on it.” said Leslie, a dangerous look in her eyes. “And I might need another look at those fetching boxers, too.”

Only slightly reluctantly, Ben detached himself from Leslie and helped her to her feet. Hand in hand they made their way around the house to where his window was propped open, covered with crystallizing ice from where a snowball or two had interrupted his peaceful night’s sleep.

“So does this mean I won?” Ben asked as he boosted Leslie through the window.

“Oh, I don’t know,” she said, helping him in after her. “I’m pretty sure we both did.”

Ben straightened and smiled giddily down at her, standing by his bed like a dream come true. “I thought you said there can only be one?”

Leslie pulled him in for a searing kiss, unzipping his jacket and wrapping her arms around his waist. Ben responded in kind and thought that, on evaluation, he’d happily agree to a draw. Though as he pushed Leslie’s jacket off her shoulders and slipped his hand under her shirt and bra, palming her breast and feeling her gasp into his mouth, Ben was quietly confident that he was the real winner that night.

Outside the snow continued falling, a blanket of white erasing their battleground. The world looked clean and new.


End file.
